As a new mother I’m so grateful I worked this out before having a child with my partner:

Having a relationship without entanglements means being two different people while having the capacity to feel fully connected.
I am here, and you are there. I am responsible for me, and you are responsible for you.

And of course we support each other but without loosing ourselves. We can come close, we can melt… and then say:
“Wow, this was a beautiful melting.” And then we come back to our own center.

When we don’t have this capacity, we are constantly merging, easily cross boundaries, like a sticky symbiosis.

I’m constantly feeling responsible for how you are feeling, or reacting to how you are feeling and the opposite way around.

These are dynamics we learnt in childhood, the are ways to stay connected to survive when we are small, and very effective ones!

But they are age appropriate.

My child SHOULD feel he is the same as me, but I’m separate from both him and my partner.

It’s not healthy for two adults two relate from a place of not knowing what is mine and what is yours.

And learning to untangle this, to stand in our own ground… Is so much more comfortable.

I’m offering my popular FREE 3-Day Grow Up Challenge for the 5th time in the end of Jan, as I return from my baby bubble.

Read more and sign up here:

https://www.litadaa.com/3-day-challenge

It’s a space to slow down, explore emotional maturity, and grounded connection, together.